Blame was a big issue in Karl’s life. Not only had family members abandoned him several times in his childhood, but those and other adults repeatedly blamed him for his misfortunes. He carried a massive burden of shame.

In late January 2017, A year after his death, Karl explains his ambivalence as he faced his transition from his human life. But now, I sense a change: his fear of my blaming him for leaving me is dissipating:

You have showered me with appreciations that have been so healing to my heart. It nearly broke my heart to leave you — as I love you so much. I was of two minds. In the end, it felt it was for the best. Maybe it was because — at some level — I knew it would not be the end of our contact and communication. I did — and I do — believe in what we have had for the past months — a real, sincere, and heartfelt connection. With that hope in my heart, I was able to leave. You have proved me right — my decision was right. Thank you.

Powerfully keEPING the door open

Two days later, Karl says this:

When you were saying goodbye to me in the river, sending me healing energy from the Earth, I was very sad. We were both in shock. I was watching you, afraid I’d never ‘see’ you again. But because you have so powerfully kept the door open — and allowed love, forgiveness, and communication to flow between us — I have been able to relax into a new confidence that our bond is strong and resilient. I was horrified by the prospect of losing you forever. It broke me. You healed that by the force of your love. 


In spite of my shocked state, I know that I am doing important work as I stand in the river after Karl died. And Karl repeatedly reminds me of my contribution. In February 2017, he recalls:

When I died, it was so perfect for me that you held and comforted me on the riverbank. Because you know about these things (and I sort of knew that), I could really benefit from all the healing energy you poured into me. More than anything, it forged a channel of energetic communication between us – so that this communication has been so much easier. Please put that in your book.