Staying connected: what to do and how to do it

Speak to me in the easy way you always used. Put no difference into your tone…

Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1910, “Death is Nothing at All.”

Karl’s advice on staying connected

Following his death, Karl offers lots of advice that influences the design and development of our healing model. Following Karl’s direction, I discover, was not that different from following my intuition. Marrying Steiner’s views with Karl’s guidance and adding my own insights yields our approach to staying connected, which I explain below.

General guidance

Staying connected with our loved one does not require a rigid structure. Holding it lightly is fine. I write in airports, on ferries, in planes, in my bed, in cafés, on trains — literally anywhere. I do find that regular communication is essential, however, as is and allocating enough time to our intimate sessions. I learn that setting the intention that I will feel deeply nourished by this interaction is entirely realistic. Above all, I learn to be gentle with myself. A colossal loss has occurred, and I am profoundly grieving. This is one step on the path of sacred mourning.

Photo: Margaret Wilson

Some simple rituals

if someone is dying

If you are reading this book while a loved one is dying or preparing to die, some simple rituals may prepare you for communication with them after they die. First, you can set your intention. See if you can become aware of your guides or a guardian angel or angels and ask them to help you. You may suggest that they connect with your dear one’s guides or guardian angels. If you find this difficult to imagine, do not worry. Your guides will help you.

Then you may tell your loved one something like this:

I look forward to staying connected with you after you die. Please know that I will reach out to you. I know we can stay in touch and keep our love flowing. Please believe that with me.

You may then visualize your ongoing communication with your loved one. You may imagine that your words will comfort them. If your loved one is feeling cold, your words could warm them. If they are too hot, your kind and compassionate words could have a soothing, cooling effect.

Remember the actions they took in life

You can foreshadow to yourself that you will remember the actions your loved one took in life: things that they did that you know you will remember, honor, celebrate, and communicate back to them.