Five principles for staying connected

To stay connected to Karl’s guidance and to work through our emerging healing model, I pay attention to five fundamental principles, which I believe have broader applicability. I am confident that everyone can benefit from this guidance.

  1. LISTEN TO MY INTUITION: I need to listen to my intuition and be as specific as possible with Karl when asking for advice. I must ask for exactly what I need. To enter into that frame of heart, I must affirm, “God wants what I want.” I must accept that every one of my needs and wants is consistent with and aligned with God’s plan for me. Without that acceptance, I may not be able to hear advice from my departed loved one.
  2. ASK FOR HELP: I need to ask for help honestly and openly. This is no time for preconceived notions. I must be as open as I possibly can to allow the best possible advice and guidance to reach me.
  1. SUSPEND MY JUDGMENT: I must be open to ideas, advice, and direction and be prepared to receive unexpected (or unpalatable) answers that I might not welcome or like, or that might conflict with my rational views. I must suspend any alienating judgment.
  2. AFFIRM THE GIFTS OF SPIRIT: I need to affirm that the gifts of Spirit know no limitations. I must declare that I can sense the blessings. I know that God is supporting me, and those blessings align with my intentions.
  1. GIVE THANKS: Finally, I must give thanks for every blessing — even the complicated and ambiguous ones. The Divine can work in mysterious ways; a blessing might not be immediately apparent. Precision is essential in giving thanks. I learned that God (and Karl) love specific feedback. In the early weeks and months of our communication, Karl would often rejoice that I had spotted and understood a “hidden” or “nested” blessing.

Blessing the flood

For example, a clairvoyant friend tells me that she could see Karl doing “a happy dance” when I identify the blessings that accompanied the traumatic flood in Rose’s house in early January 2017. My contents insurance payout will pay for my move to Canada. Karl is thrilled to hear that from me because he has been deeply concerned about my mental health. I try to re-imagine the flood as “the flow”.

When I neglect my gratitude response, I sometimes feel the gentlest nudge in my throat or my high heart. And I hear Karl’s deep, heavily accented German voice saying something like, “That was a good one, wasn’t it, Wadie?”


Karl’s death changed my life forever, and I will mourn that loss for the rest of my life. Blessedly, I receive another chance: to share with him my acceptance of my new reality, my gratitude for all we have, my forgiveness of what we need to forgive, and my new commitments to action in my world.

In the next four chapters, I share fragments of my intimate conversations with Karl. Our candid discussions are only glimpses that reveal facets of this great love and my great heartbreak.

As we seek reconciliation, may we approach, enter, and pass through these four Gateways with open hearts and a heightened appreciation of the redemptive power of love.