1. CELEBRATING LIFE: How can I use the funeral, memorial or celebration of the life of my loved one as a “forgiveness” vehicle to say what needs to be said and forgive whoever needs to be forgiven (myself included)?

During Karl’s memorial

2. REFRAMING SURVIVOR GUILT: If I am experiencing “survivor guilt” (or something similar), how can I use it as a way to nurture self-forgiveness?

3. FULLY EXPLORING RELATIONSHIP ISSUES: How can I explore all dimensions of my relationships with the one who has died to bring all of our issues into the open?

4. MAKING GOOD: How can I heal and repair past hurts via communication with my loved one who has died?

5. HEARING THE OTHER PERSON’S FORGIVENESS: How can I find authentic ways to “hear” the forgiveness communicated to me by my loved one?

6. AVOIDING AVOIDANCE: How can I stay in the present and not avoid facing tough forgiveness issues about my loved one?

7. FORGIVING INAPPROPRIATE ACTIONS: How can I forgive some people whom I feel may have acted inappropriately to me since my loved one died?

8. DISRESPECT AND SHAME: How can I stay present to deal with people who may be disrespectful to me or try to shame me as I express my grief and loss in ways that may be unacceptable to them?

9. PURGING GUILT AND BLAME: How can I review (and reframe) previous instances of blame between me and my loved one where I may have been unfair toward them?